My Walk of Life.

ok..i'm back!

2008-06-19T04:06:00.003+08:00

Hello ppl..finally i'm back to updating my blog alrdy...the last post was like 07 stuff...nw abt 08 stuff...still in the army...half way more to go...currently hving a major event ...NDP 08...i'm involving for the parade...will be wearing no. 1 suit...look damn cool...yea..tt's wat i felt oso la..hving started training of drills...since may...all the way till aug...ahhhh 3 mths of training b4 actual parade...shaggggggggggggg~ hehe! but enjoyed it quite alot...perhaps after tis post...i'll onli be back updating tis blog some other time alrdy...hw long will u guys & girls get to see ..i not tt sure ~ hahahAhAHa~ ok la...it's time to slp...i'm still doing fine...miss u ppl!!

thank you my sun.

2007-12-13T02:43:00.000+08:00

Someone very close to me is feeling down today. Though I dun really noe wat happened, but, am able to feel it. Tis little sun here has no clues and the brightness she has is running short too. Hoping for a re-charge, sun needs it’s creator to b with her too. To lend her a listening ear sometimes. Sun promised to always b there for it’s creator. It’s weather maker. Hope the creator will put on a small smile, jus to give the sun a bit of courage to face life. (:

This is what my sun wanna let mi noe wat she's tinking of...i appreciate it...thanks android18..i'll promise myself hard to be ur listening ears. i'll cheer up more juz for u! becoz u're my sun..u brighten mi up..u lighten my life..i'll help u to find the courage to face life.......u'll be recharged by mi!!! becoz i'm oso ur weather... thx for all tis tings...ever since i enlisted in army..the closest person i can depend on is u...u did alot for mi...i can feel it...i understand it! so i wun let u down...always the happy jumpy krillin u'll see....misses ~ ~ ~ ~

my day my life..

2007-11-15T03:06:00.001+08:00

finally back to my blog le...2 mths passed in army le...i'm still me..just tt i grown more like learning hw to tink & act more positively le...i gained alot in army, oso gained the lost of somebody i loved...i'm so so so unhappy...so so so sad....but slowly army taught me hw to take & let go...i'm feeling better le...i'm feeling so weird nw...i felt i'm a WEIRDO!...i tink i got Six Sense!!! hahahaha...realli treasure the time wif my si dang(gang)...they r so so so nicee...without them...life's simply blank...thanks to my sis(angie), bro(wc,wq), alice(android18)...i love them all!!! hahahaa....there's once a man told me i'm destined to be lonely...to be single for life...hving stress & stress in my life...but able to be strong & still...i'm so afraid of loneliness, i wish i could hv a partner...to share my joy...to share my wealth...to share my pain...inside of me is such a weak, helpless boy...wat i realli want is to be able to enjoy life...with the one i love so much....hv u loved mi once? even if u hv...it's all in the past...i'm born to serve 'loneliness'....anyone, love me pls??? y did u left me when i needed u most................................

It's so fake yet so REAL.

2007-10-07T10:20:00.000+08:00

I lost myself, my spirit, my everything. Even my little smile flew away so quickly. Just because i went in army, everything will change. I change, you change, all change. depression is getting onto my head so quickly, now as i have a clearer state of myself, i will make this post my last, I gave in so much, i didnt expected to have any returns, but i expected not to be abandoned a side as well, in the past, your smile, your laugh, your happiness, is equivelent to my own happiness. It doesnt even matter whether i am the one suffering in the end, as long as you are happy, i am contented. You may change, it may be very painful to me, but for you it's worth it. There's alot of things i didnt want to be. My dream is to be by your side for life, my hope is to be the one you will depend on, though it didnt end up the way i wanted. I cant do anything about it. As now i am on the verge of dying, i cant take anymore stress even in army and outside. But i promised my bros, my frens, i will perseverve on. As for you, i wish you happy. Until now, i can feel the REAL stress, sadness, disappointment i having. At times i dont even know what i am doing at all, i might need to attend mentality checkup. Doesnt matter. All of this, done for you, is worth it. My painfulness text.

Finally the last post in tis blog...

2007-09-13T05:08:00.001+08:00

This gonna be my final entry liao...after today..which is 14th sept 07. I am going to be enlisted into National Service. Definitely gonna MISS alot of ppl...especially 6.4 ! WC undead, WQ halfdead, ANGIE pig, DON oduck and last not to least, PEIYING piggy =). And of coz, Alice from RP. SANDY aka P.G. My bros, Guorong, Simon, Douglas. My ITE mates...and all the frens i noe...MISS ALL OF YOU...1 main worry is py piggy, doesnt noe hw to take gd care of herself, always emo when bad tings happened and nid a person to tok to, but after i go in, cant be able to help out in her probs much, she's like the best & closest person i ever known in life liao...ok nw..hope all of u can take gd care of urself...& pls...6.4 grp! miss mi hahahahaha. take gd care of each other man...when i book out..we shall meet up for a long talk! SAYONARA~

.....

2007-08-18T03:38:00.000+08:00

silence every moment. image of you every sec. eye opened with u in it. eye closed together wif u. hope u can sense the tings i've done. for i am always here protecting u. i can gif u watever u wan. i will try to make watever i can to make u happy. u're my life..u're my light..wif u ard.. any weather can brings mi warmness inside. i juz nid u to be by my side. becoz i noe u're the one i ever hoped for..

up again.

2007-08-11T02:25:00.000+08:00

wow after so many mths. decided to touch tis useless blog again. hahahaha. recently alot of ppl fell sick. dun understand y oso. as for me. i fell sick twice in 3 mths. & dunno y...my nose hv been bleeding for days.. perhaps watch too much **** liao.. HAHAHAHA. jk la...but dunno y really... or maybe becoz of smoking lo. hais~ i'm getting hungry nw..but lazy to cook nor eat...simply tired all over...ytd went to watch fireworks at marina area..looks nice..but waited almost 30 mins b4 the COOL ting pops out ~ ~ ... b4 the fireworks...went to xin wang hongkong cafe wif my fellow 6.4 frens..it was funny..joke all the way...ate & laugh..& even the heaven is helping me.. hahaha. time for billing the meal, i paid exactly i tink, but dunno y the guy gave mi back $10 change more.. hahahahaha. at last, went for supper, becoz didnt ate much at the cafe.. but during the supper. i ate only 2-3 mouth of noodles...dunno y.. gastric veri painful.. hahah..send 2 girls home after tt. 1 pig 1 angelica. cool nick for them huh. hahahahaha ~ ~ ~ & as for today...work up damn early..went to work.. finish at abt 4.45pm. reached home almost 5. went out at abt 8.10pm. slack & eat & drink & smoke & tok cock ard..ahhh i'm lifeless really...last & for all.. i'm tinking of her.. hais...bu hui you jie guo de jie guo ~ ~ ~ ~

what?

2007-05-13T03:14:00.000+08:00

when i made the 1st move, i knew i regret, but regretting is not a way to solve, so i decided to remove everyting out of my life & reinstall back slowly. I may not be my usual self now, precisely, i'm having alot of probs in my mind. I chosen not to tink abt it. not to tink of "why wasnt i given any chances." I know i dont hv to tink abt it, becoz the answer is obvious, i'm a piece of junk. Just an plain idiot u see on the street. What's more, i wont even tink abt all the sweet stuff anymore. It wasnt sweet anymore. I need alot of time to regain self consciousness. I hope i can revert back to myself. Life's bitter to me. I got nth in the end. In return. HeartAche.

r u ?

2007-05-11T03:04:00.000+08:00

Find Me Here Speak To Me I want to feel you I need to hear you You are the light That's leading me To the place where I find peace again. You are the strength, that keeps me walking. You are the hope, that keeps me trusting. You are the light to my soul. You are my purpose...you're everything. How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this? You calm the storms, and you give me rest. You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall. You steal my heart, and you take my breath away. Would you take me in? Take me deeper now? How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this? And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this? Cause you're all I want, You're all I need You're everything,everything You're all I want you're all I need You're everything, everything. You're all I want you're all I need. You're everything, everything You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything. And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this? How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this? How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?Would you tell me how could it be any better than this? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

:D

2007-05-09T00:06:00.001+08:00

today is a total bored day. i got no work. i went out. back home after a few hrs. doing nth at home. I'm matching wif them. it's was fun. everyting started to improve well. i hope i can get thru tis. but i aint trying it at all. i juz left it bothering mi until nw. i hate those feels. whenever i hope for smth, it wun come true. i wonder is tt a punishment from god ? i'm a big SINNER. pls.. tell mi am i one ? god, i wanna hv a answer to it. i'm willing to repent. gif mi courage to over come everyting. i love u god..

again.

2007-05-05T19:56:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking of it too often. Just dunno y i'm taking u as a veri impt person. perhaps i shld clear a distance from u. love is smth tt cant be forced. i aint one of the lucky guy. i purely understand tis well. as long as u're happy, i wun wanna ask for more. I'll find ways to forget it. heartached. suddenly, i dun wish to rmbr all the words made by u. what i can say is, u're loving mi as a close fren as well. so tt repeats again. all the unwanted words i dun wanna see nor hear it. ended up saying it all out. I must not misunderstand all tis words again. never will i going to fall for it. All the best to you.

meaningful.

2007-05-05T03:26:00.001+08:00

星星有星星的时间，人也有人的时间,说如同大部分行星都有自己的旋转周期一样，人也有固定的周期，2500万年。现在起的2500万年之后，我们会再次经历此刻的瞬间，再次碰到相遇过的人。

....

2007-05-05T01:25:00.000+08:00

hw do i start wif today's entry? well..everyting seems fine for mi..last night..or shld i say tis morning ? i did smth which i dare not in tis period of 3 yrs +...i confessed my love towards a girl...but the results is expected...to tink i failed again...tis is going to be the final decision of my life to be lonely for long...my fate is to be wif only MYSELF. so it's really ok not to tink so much...at least she doesnt hate mi or wat...i'll slap myself up...wake myself up...nobody will wanna be wif a uneducated, gangster looking wif a idiotic brain toking rubbish...i'll slap myself for sure.. for...falling in a impossible ting....LEX WAKE UP!!!!! YOU ARE GAMED!!!!!!!!!!!

LEX : i will wake up. just nidda have some time.
LEX'S HEART : yup you really nid some time to calm down again.
LEX : yes...ok..i will .. thanks HEART.

hais ~

2007-05-02T18:33:00.000+08:00

nth much to say...juz tt i coughed out blood last night...real thick blood...it seems tt the blood in my throat cant be stopped...onli until today...i'm stunned by the blood tt i coughed out...damn..wat's happening?

blog?

2007-05-02T01:50:00.000+08:00

I've been tinking...wat for blogging like hell & den onli 1 loyal viewer Miss Sandy viewing it ???? At times i really wanna del tis blog awy...pretty pissed off..not as if ppl doesnt hv my link to it...not as if i didnt update it..& my tagboard...is like..1 to 1 chat onli..where's all the ppl tt linked mi? i hate it...after so many tings happened...i seriously feeling tired...i'm all ALONE !!!! who really noes ? I done smth convenient for u guys alrdy.. by removing the password tingy to my blog...& den it's still the same... shit it man...nobody really care...i dun wanna noe if i'm in any of their hearts...i wan actions. it's onli words & words...& i had enough...leave mi alone if tis continues... thanks to my bros... bros for life ...

hais ~

2007-04-29T00:37:00.000+08:00

injured my leg...quite badly? or maybe just minor... juz feel hurts at my ankle lol..bleeding alot..life's like tt for mi..life's always so boring & boring...i juz feel so stupid at myself...i really got 0 confidences. i lack of many tings...issit becoz of tis causes mi to be a failure ? hw i wish i can stand up again...rebuilding myself again..maybe i got a life tt is not impt at all...mi myself feeling i'm super useless...therefore i'm useless.... hais ~

hais ~

2007-04-27T22:44:00.000+08:00

after such a long day..i'm feeling super shagged alrdy...eating my instant noodles nw...felt like taking a walk nw...well..i guess it's just a super short entry today...ok cya ppl!

random.

2007-04-25T18:24:00.000+08:00

I'm wind. You're cloud. We belongs together. I wishing for your good. Hoping you're wishing for me too. I stare at the big blue sky. Thinking of the smiles we had. I'm invisible, you're visible. I catches nothing, u catches the sight of the people. Storm & Thunder appeared suddenly, we're seperated. Now I'm hoping for a windy cloudy day again. But the cloud I once knew. Changed completely. Now, I can only move with the wind...If only things stay like what they are...I LOVE YOU.

- My Story -
- Mr feng -

i miss my past..

2007-04-24T02:44:00.000+08:00

i woke up quite late today..rushes for work..finished quickly, went to some nearby foodcourt near my workplace for lunch..end up caughting in the rain...could'nt stand anymore...took a cab home...sms wif june tis retard dunno for hw many hrs...& its fun chatting wif her...her laughter makes mi feel proud of my lame jokes...hahahaha...i accidentally slpt for a moment & did not reply to her msg....woke up 1 to 2 hrs later...onli until another 1 hr+ more i receive her reply again...etc...etc....& so on....feeling bored at home...went downstr wif my haro bike ...ride ard...arranged to meet my frens for slack....juz the time when i'm outside...tis june retard girl sms mi saying she's walking home from the mrt...den acc her to her blk...chatted veri veri lamely.. loL...i teased her alot...she felt irritated...but hu cares ? LOL!!! rite???? june??? HAHAHHAHA....after acc-ing her home...i slack a lil more...den went to look for my frens...slack slack slack...feeling it's time to go home...went home online....doing the same ting...msn/surf web....seldom gaming liao....den tinking of some probs i had recently...feeling a lil upset bout it...but wif all the frens chatting wif mi online..i feel better...so thanks to everybody .....thanks to the so called 24/7 listener..u shld noe who u r ... hahahaha...chill...tml gotta wake up slightly earlier & hv to go some places i nid to go...ahhhh siannn....hving an appointment wif a doc in the evening...ahh no choice...becoz of some head prob.. LOL...i tink i'm going nuts after tt incident...but i didnt really care much oso la...so well...let's end here....gd nite everybody...u're the best ppl i known in my life...but try to show more concern la!! loL! =x....chasing loneliness awy!!! shooo!!!! shoo!!!! & i'll try to make myself less tinking of probs & learn to accept reality, facts & watever tt happens to mi....for heaven's sake i nid a light!

life...

2007-04-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

i'm so so so down nw...wassup wif my family??? how come i got tis kind of parents tt always quarrel wif each other??? WHY always i hv to see tears & unhappies going in my home? I wanna give up life alrdy...but hw to end it??? nobody really bothers abt mi...i tried to let myself laugh & feel happy...but how come i failed to? my dad is a real big asshole..my mum is a damn stupid idiot...tt's y they both became like tt ????? to mi they r really in tis way! ... i hate it veri mucH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lifeless ~

haa~

2007-04-19T03:06:00.000+08:00

finally realised i got 109 posts in my blog liao...it's abit like too little alrdy...& tis current entry is requested by my p.g ..so just grant her wish & update some stuff abt mi lo...hahaha ~ my bdae has passed alrdy..it's on the 5th of april..wanna noe wat am i doing on tt day? it's pretty boring...hanging out wif my buddies as usual...hving some dinner at northpoint...my so called 'celebration' is done over there -.- ... & den...i forgot to mention abt my frens celebrating & singing my 1st bdae song from FRENS! it's after 12am exactly..they bought mi a super mini choco cake..but at least it's a heart of sincere....i appreciate it veri much..though i didnt receive any presents or celebrated it veri grandly..but to mi it's alrdy a kind of simple content..& currently...i'm onto some DJ stuff online...anyone is welcomed to join in my radio station at http://121.6.21.189:8000 using any MUSIC PLAYER to open the URL....hahaah...wanna thanks P.G for praising the songs r nice...& thanks all the listeners tt enjoyed in my station...i'll be speaking live soon ~ but wondering hw or wat shld i be chatting abt alone... loL..any advises can directly msg mi on msn...thanks ppl once again!!! I'll quickly tink abt the station name seriously...i nid a station name veri seriously nw! LOL...

U guys brighten up my life...thanks ...fate is coming soon maybe? my princess will be arriving shortly? o.O who noes ? loL...take careZ!

o.o

2007-03-26T18:44:00.000+08:00

ok la sandy...i update nw la ... LoL... hmm.. how can i start ???? well, juz working & working & going out & going out tis few days lo...1 of my gd fren went in NS alrdy lol...quite sian oso la..recently my family spent alot of $ alrdy...my mum bought a new hp, my dad bought 1 too..my dad go buy a nintendo Wii...n it looks damn cool & fun... total up the costs of all tis..wow..hardly my dad spent until tis much..but who cares, it's not my $ anyway.. hahahaha. actually oso hv been going out for interviews but all the schedule of the job crashed wif my time..so cant really take up those jobs...arghhh..i wan a new job...pls intro mi..i cant work on thurs & fri man! :(

New Games.

2007-03-11T14:04:00.000+08:00

Yep, back to my blog, actually nowadays, i'm doing nth much...juz trying to dl more psp games...searching for more RPG games...to kill my time...maybe i shld be going off nw...not much of a topic anyway.

=)

2007-02-27T02:05:00.000+08:00

Hi ppl, this is my new blog skin wif new music, rmbr to tag whenever u visit in ok ? thanks ppl...take care...

as usual..

2007-02-21T01:25:00.000+08:00

just a blink of my eyes, chinese new year has arrived & passed for 3-4 days alrdy....received a few ang baos...but added up.. got ard $200 nw...still going on to house visits tis few days...well...recently met up wif yq & py...we drank, chat, slack....it was quite a nice mini gathering...den the second day after...met py again..drank again..tis time chat alot more..she's kinda funny...asking mi strange questions ...tt's not like her at all ... haha..but well..i managed to ans every of her questions slowly...getting boring everyday...nowadays, i often feel hungry at nite..especially after 11pm...but all i can eat is mac...becoz of the coffeeshop increasing of food & drinks..felt not worth eating it...1st day of CNY, family & mi went to my ah ma hse...It's my 3rd ang bao ... haha..but tis yr..ah ma seems to gif mi quite little :(....den after tt...we went home..my aunty came to visit us...gave mi a 20 bucks ang bao...tt's was like..not bad...den well..the rest of the visitings i din go.. except my family...on the 1st day..i counted i onli got abt 80? seems so little...until today..i went to my grand uncle's home...surprisingly...he gave a $100 ang bao to mi & my siblings each...& 2 more ang baos from my dad's cousin...added up..ard $200 for all...feeling contented alrdy...but i dunno where to spend my $ to...bored...bored...i dun even hv much updates on tis post...seems like i'm really slacking most of the time ...doing nth...tt's y i doesnt hv any updates abt hw am i doing ... hmm...maybe another time...byeZ

well ?

2007-01-30T16:34:00.000+08:00

I am starting my repeated modules on 1st feb. well, i tink i gonna get my cert tis time ? once i get my cert, it's a 99.99% of leaving sg after my NS. i can say HAIS ~ but i can say COOL too..becoz maybe it's a new chance to start my career abroad ? lol...its has been quite sometime since my last update...well...i dunno wat's love until nw... actually.. i dunno whether tis is love.. love is ? a words set down centuries ago or just a action to a relationship ? ok..it doesnt matter..becoz i dunno hw to love alrdy...so im choosing to be single ???? or just cant put down the past ?? becoz of her ??? worth it ??? shld i put down everyting behind mi ??? But hw ? I used to tis kinda life alrdy...i tink i wish to see her again...to sort out my mind & feeling ... becoz i really confused after so many yrs...i dunno wat it's call..but i tink i'm foolish enough to drag tis far...maybe a new environment can helps ? i tasted life...but im still tasting living..till the last min of my breath on earth ...rite???? haha, i tink i hv put down all the promises or words heard by ppl... some of them, din make their promise come true, nor keep their words, but some did...so i tink tis shld'nt bother mi anymore...soon a newborn life coming.... GET RDY Mr Lee ~ ~ ~

the last post of 2006.

2006-12-31T02:19:00.000+08:00

hi girls & boys... i am finally back here again....my net is down...even until nw... so i used somewhere else to update my blog...looks like it's getting rusty alrdy....graduated from ite...gpa : 0.75 ..though i failed.. but at least it's a improvement compared to last term of my results...hv been working & working...i just received a ite letter saying i failed 3 modules...wanting mi to repeat it for 6 mths.... but i tink i going to reject it...since i got no interest in it....ok back to my personal tings nw....i juz hv alot alot of troubled probs in my mind...but i juz find out i got nobody to confide to.....suddenly....i recalled her...my ex....juz a sudden missing of her...the care & concern she used to gif mi... no longer here alrdy...but wat can i really do abt tis ??? am i going to just remain life like tis always ?????? where's the girl tt i hv been waiting long for ?????? i onli wanna get the feeling of love again....i somehow forgotten wat's love alrdy....i tink im lost..it's 2.23am nw...later at 7pm meeting frens for 2007 countdown...u can say it's a happy occasion..but i juz feeling neutral... doesnt really felt veri veri excited & happy abt tis...a brand new yr is coming real soon alrdy...i hope to change my lifestyle ....i hope to hv blessing from god...i wan somebody to really love mi...i wan the HER to be appeared soon...i nid love...but if it doesnt come...i'll still carry on life normally....hope to hv somebody to change my life entirely....... *praying* guys & girls tt is viewing my blog...dun u find it surprised tt i got a sudden updating of blog ??? haha... wishing everybody a happy 2007....gd luck everyone o.O ..... i tink it's late enough... going to work in the morning.... going slp soon... so nite everyone... i'll update as soon as i hv feels of updating tis rusty blog again.... see u guys here soon...

XiaoHu aka lex.

gay shit.

2006-10-23T00:54:00.000+08:00

last nite...went out at 11pm, went to town.. till 7am + .. 2.10am, was our movie time... went to watch deathnote...a really nice & smart show... enjoyed alot... after the show.. was abt near 3.30am or so... felt my stomach was getting emptier, so went to look for food.. walk walk walk walk walk from cineleisure, & ended up at shaw center's mac. & smth took place there.. a few girls.. only 1 tt captured my eyes.. super sexy, super pretty...looks cute too.. she did smth.. which made mi & my frens got stunned while eating.. there's a pair of couple(ang mo) sitting beside our table, & tis girl, went over to them, & she started using her hands to pull the ang mo's gf bra & say her ****** is small, den she take off half of her shirt & show it to the ang mo's bf. OMFG!!!!!!!!!! she did not wear anyting inside.. tt's the part where i dun dare to see LOL!!! but wat mi & my frens find out was...tis girl is actually a "SHE" !!!!! omfg.. a guy... but hw could tt be ? so beautiful, so sexy, so perfect... turned out to be ah gua.. LOL!!!!!! really got a unforgettable experience over there... will vomit if i experience again... ~ ~ ~ ~ wat to say ... i tink till den... cya... guys.....

well.. ?

2006-09-10T19:03:00.000+08:00

recently..not updating the blog becoz i got nth to say to my blog... but nw ? i at least got smth.. i used up 3 days time to dl pan wei bo, jay, FIR whole new album .. it's nice.. so guys pls go find out urself.. ^^ .. no pain no gain... dun ask from mi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well well well ... juz feel tt my life is getting veri common & peaceful.. so nth sad unhappy happen up to mi recently.. but the last teacher day's visit i went to sch.. got some prob wif 1 ah beng.. he's 1 big fuck .. for nth say mi & my fren stare at him.. kept on saying he's a AST. damn crap asshole he looks like .. but hu cares.. such childish stuff doesnt remain inside my mind... so wat's nw is face life.. enjoy life b4 u loses the opportunity to. ^^ .. introduction of jay's new song... xin yu(心雨), a veri nice song... www.haoting.com to listen to the full song ... ^^ nth to add on.. cya & cheese... smoking time...

yea..i felt like tt..

2006-08-19T17:43:00.000+08:00

recently.. i just felt alot of ppl suddenly disappeared from my life... none care like they said they r... i dun feel any...all just WORDS... i nid actions.. i got alot of probs in my life, but i am veri sure, i got no one to turn to..all of them, treat mi like hi-bye stuff, they wun even bother to call or sms mi.. all the one is mi... hu's doing all tis nw.. WORDS are empty, pls show some actions tt u care for mi as a fren.. if not.. i cant believe how clever u're gd at talking.. i felt lonely once again... given up...

well..

2006-08-13T01:11:00.000+08:00

just a random skins i changed...edited the song in my blog.. & everyting remains the same.. :) nowadays...i am hving too many probs...oso dunno hu to turn to..but gd... there's my old gd bros ... yq, wc, wq ... we tok alot until 2-3am...drank beer... haha..after saying out those probs kept inside mi... it felt so relaxing .. well well... update again ba.. take care ppl.

arGHHHH!

2006-08-10T21:14:00.000+08:00

I dun feel happy today..1stly.. i waked up too early for sch..i am super tired..came home.. none stop nagging from the old ones.. in the nite abt 9pm... got a hit by my dad.. for ??? for drinking his 1 can of beer ???? LOL ??? 1 beer can cause him to hit mi.. cool huh?? & my mum ? adding salt & vinegar to fire ??? wat a sore... how i wish i can ever confide to some1 i can ever trust most abt my life.... my probs...but wat ?? i juz afraid of saying out all my stuffs. i felt so fed up nw... wat did my dad do juz nw ??? besides hitting mi ... he went switching off my modem when i am using the net ?!!!!!!! purposely fuck it ! i am super fed up nw... no mood to go anywhere... forget it... fuck today.. i will confront my dad soon....1 day... i'll hit him again... 1 day...

o.o

2006-08-03T23:56:00.000+08:00

wow today i pon my sch.. slack wif irene... from 9.30am till abt 5pm ? omg LOL! ! ! din realise it's so long.. den after tt...went to find leen.... smoke smoke chat chat...den go see some fishes at a nearby fish shop.. quite alot of cute fishes.. den leen treat mi 1 packet of 50 cents Yeo's Lemon Tea lor... becoz i treat her 3 sticks of cigs leh LOL!!!! after chit chat awhile more le..she went home le..den i oso go home get $ ..den go downstr to cut my hair.. just realised the newly opened hair saloon is cheap & the aunty hv nice skills.. nw my head looks more natural lOL... so nice... today is my dad's bdae..but i din realise it.. until i received my mum's call saying we going to hv thai's restarant food for celebration.. ate alot... $60 only sia... cheap leh... 5 ppl eating... eat until my stomach expand ah... den went home liao..sms wif cass & leen.. until i stop smsing wif cass.. becoz i SIANNNNN....den nw... chatting wif leen on msn... & den...hope peiying dun be so emo & quickly settle her stuff :) ... gd luck everyone.. i am feng...

:)

2006-07-31T00:03:00.001+08:00

after 20 days . i finally updating my blog at 11.59 just 1 min b4 the nxt day. haha. my hp went for repair at nokia care center. most likely can be collected tml.. it's ex. but i got no choice. haha. nowadays. went slacking wif leen & her fren cass. 2 lamers. but i had a enjoyable day & nite wif them. spend alot tis few days.. went to visit manda ytd. she's recovering soon ba.. hope she will be fine :) .. bought her a small little teddy ~ hope she like it... & den.. it seems like i am simply too free ... spend alot on cigs..changed my taste to NEXT Menthol Super.. damn super.. i love tt minty taste. hahahahha . my bro gave mi a "LUCKYSTRIKE" cig today.. i tried it.. seems cool .. . but only available in china.. :( but it's ok anyway.. hope my hp will be out of hospital tml.. HO HO HO ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

=/

2006-07-11T01:15:00.000+08:00

well, finally after another of "holiday" i am back to here. start cracking for the post. I felt mi. i hv changed alot alrdy, to somebody tt is weaker, self confidence lacking. but its all ok. I still dunno y. I still think & love her..everyday.. though it's a type of suffering when somebody u love. doesnt love u at all. doesnt tink abt u at all. doesnt care for u much. Its life. so i hv to leave it to fate & destiny. i thot she will hv even a little feelings for mi in the 1st place. but i am wrong. after so long..i finally love somebody tt is deeper den the past girl i had. no wonder i became like this. weakened. agony all over. seldom smile since all tis . probs seems to be everyday none stop coming like everyday is my bdae. i receive countless presents. hope the same prob will stop..after listening to the same prob everyday. i feel tired. wat happen to mi nw ? i cant face her anymore. becoz of love...love can make u be brave & coward at a certain moment. i felt coward nw. towards her. i cant believe tt i changed to tis way. I hv been avoiding her for days & i may continue until the day i can clear off my mind. finally, they 2 sisters r back to one piece.. i dun feel happiness but i feel an xin. at least, they r back together. gd news. wish them both forever sisters. though tings wun return to back to normal anymore. but i noe i still hv 1 ting which is my "sweet memories" ..its the best gift i hv. at least i hv a "sweet memory" from them ba..to mi in life..even though we seldom contact le.. they r still impt & close ones to mi.. its hard to find somebody tt u feel u can be close wif..though tings happened in a negative way. but i din regret knowing the both of them ba.. i will continue life ... & wishing for a day i nv had b4 comes...WoW ~ tis is the 1st time i posted so long after so many entries. perhaps i'm having too many xin shi in my mind & heart le.. time to use letters to release them... & oso..i wish she will hv a happy bdae later on.. it's 1.20am nw..today is her bdae..hope she enjoy them..dun tink of the unhappiness or even mi..becoz i can only give her sadness & angriness.. perhaps watching someone u love been happy... is really a gd ting tt can ever be happening to mi ba...i can feel her smile & happiness coming sooner & sooner le.. yea...i am loaded off my mind ~ loving her after all may not be a bad ting anyway...at least i can experiencing...watching her aside.. getting her news from somewhere..when it's all positive, happiness inside mi cant be expressed out.. tt's all le ba.. i'm off le ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ take care everybody tt has viewed my blogggieeee...

hais ~ ~ ~

2006-06-25T15:10:00.000+08:00

it's 3.07pm nw. finally i am up wif my blog. 1st of july is getting closer. i nid to prepare myself to give in my best ! last nite. team AG9! which is my team. had quite alot of training. like training wif team KsM! the newly formed team. 2 out of 3 is a victory for us. :) after that, i went to lie down on my bed. chatting wif fren on phone. tok alot of craps. until abt 2.43am like that. i hang up. I kept on asking myself. y did i fall for her ? issit a starting of a wound ? will i get hurt becoz she will nv be mine ? nw i realise tis imptly. i wan her to be happy..as for all tis... she doesnt hv to noe ... she will be just fine wif him. they're compatible. so i shld'nt interfere into it. I will just be silent to myself & will be looking after of her in the dark . as long as she's happy....i feel ease... hope my feelings will fade soon ba ... hope i doesnt hv to get myself into sufferings.

well..

2006-06-06T17:31:00.000+08:00

fucked up blogger.com, tried to update ytd nite at 11pm + but it was too lag to load. so well back from sch nw.. updating it at 5.29pm. well recently..i am moody...becoz of ? well if u shld noe.. i dunno.. i feel as if we got an obstacles blocked by a wall. i felt sad...normally at nite...i simply <3 u alot. juz one smile from u..it can lighten up my day my nite. i really hope tings will remain...when i had no where to turn to..i can only turn to my blog..therefore..u guys shld noe..when i am moody or happy. tis is the place where i will read out my feelings. i am hving headaches alot.. hope to quit my course. rest awhile. b4 i go to NS . but i noe, i hv to keep my words. so i must perserve. i'll try a little harder.. i tink i shld cut down smoking by nw. it's harmful.. i shld really do it.. cut down little by little.. nowadays..i am really cutting down le.. competition is going on. quite stress. got to find time for training wif my team. hope to win tis week's round 3. tt's the only ting i'll be happier for nw.. guess i really shld go rest le..keeping myself locked up in a little dark room. only u can open the dark room for mi..so i'll just wait in there. b4 i really open up the door for anybody.. take care ppl. i'll update more. when i got more tings to add on.

:)

2006-05-17T00:29:00.000+08:00

juz another day passes. i am back on my blog once again. nowadays. alot of tings happen. but i will be fine. & wat's more ? hv been spending time wif durian & nu er. tt's y dun feel tt lonely..wat's more happy is she still cares for mi. . . . y am i so happy? perhaps the reason i can say is . i love her. when she tell mi she nv forget her words . i felt so happy... though no progress. but at least.. i noe.. nth has changed in her mind.. at least i noe.. becoz i simply love her :) .. so hu is her ? nah wun say..but she herself noe.

HAHA ~~~

2006-04-26T00:54:00.000+08:00

nice chalet i had wif my ex classmates. cool. 1st day of chalet, we simply slacking, ate only maggie mee, potato chips, soft drink, play pokers, play mind games, chit-chat, wanna slp oso cant get to slp, 24 hrs none stop of awakeness. until today 25th, i had a cool day which is..no more maggie! at abt 6+ we started our BBQ activities. there are stingrays, sotongs, fishballs, chicken wings, hotdog, & all flavour of satay...i enjoyed spending over there. it's veri fun..during the 1st day, chatted wif my xiong di in the room abt our lifes, our probs, quite relaxing, at least i dun tink of u for the moment, u left mi all of a sudden. tt's only show ur character has a prob :) .. so nw, hu gif a damn anyway ??? juz enjoyed all of my 2 days in the bungalow. there are abt 2 ppl in 1 room, 1 of the rooms got 3 becoz they got big BED. haha!!!! smoked alot alot alot alot within tis 2 days... becoz ? yea usual MIND PROBS. but ohh... i juz realise, tt i got the mood to post in my blog which is a gd news for myself ^^. nice guys, & hope we hv another chalet soon ~ haahhaah~ cheers.

if only u noe ?

2006-04-19T21:26:00.000+08:00

time is passing very fast...though the ppl ard mi hv changed, the world tt i live in has changed...but i juz dunno y...i still tink of u...just once...per day...in my mind...ur image...appeared... at the same time, i oso tink of u...tinking of the sms i had from u...u may not mean ur words, but i definitely meant mine...day by day, i hv the urge to tell u the feelings in my heart...but when i see ur surrounding...i just noe it's impossible...u r happy...in ur own life...u're veri contented wif the ppl ard u... i just wanna noe, do i ever exist in ur heart ? like wat u said to mi ??? issit true ? even till nw ? later ? future ? i hv been lonely...for a veri veri long time...since my previous bdae till nw...i nv really had a enjoyable day b4...the most enjoying i had is when my fren is wif mi...but wat i really nid...is the addition of u...u...only u can bright up my life...i will wait till my heart says it cant ....i hope..u mean ur words..i hope..there's a future in us...u're always in on my mind...in my heart..i dun wan my heart & soul to forget u...i wan them to rmbr u as well...all of mi... to u....

*door closed*

hais ~

2006-04-16T00:49:00.000+08:00

quite a boring day. nth really to do...slack outside alot alot of time today....end here le...

hahaha!

2006-03-27T13:26:00.000+08:00

on the 5th of april...is my bdae....i am looking forward to my 18. & den...fuck u EE0501V ! LOL...wan throw mi into pond issit??? no! pls...throw mi into the pool of wild wild wet...hahahha...hope i can celebrate my bdae wif my buddies...my old buddies ~ hope they r free.... & den...wats more..it's time to wait for present on tt day...come come present day! pls...i wan some cool stuff....get mi a pack of viceroy lights i am happy alrdy ~ lol....damn...target on my bdae...go wildwildwet den go eat some cool meal...ahhahahah ~ alrite...until here...off i go..*pooof*

:)

2006-03-22T23:24:00.000+08:00

i am so so so bored....so suay..last friday tio caught by HSA becoz of underage possessing of cigs...& den 1st time tio such a ting..will receive a letter in 1 week time & $30 of fine..hais ~ hate stupid noob HSA! so sian hais ~ but recently...got to noe a interesting girl..hahaha she's my nu er ...cute & funny...but siao siao -.-!!!!

congratulations!

2006-03-13T19:36:00.000+08:00

hahaha...andy & ur gf shirley...congrats man...19 marry liao sehhhh.....sunday marry sia...coool.... i wan my invitation cards...hahaha...so envy....hope u 2 last ! elson ah elson....if u see tis...oso buck up la u...go prepare ur wedding la hahahahah ...ROFL...andy 19th marrying...u 20th die issit ? hahahaha bth sia.....ok la .. end!

hais ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

2006-03-11T11:53:00.000+08:00

my blog...seems like a tv for ppl to watch news.... hao xiang hao hao ai ni..is a really nice song...tt i wan u to listen... i hv waited veri veri long le ba....but will u ever tell mi tt u wan to spend ur life wif mi ? i am not perfection, i dun look tt suave..i am not tt smart either...but at least i got a heart tt can treat u seriously well..dreaming for mi maybe a gd ting...sometimes...i juz cant felt the love u said u had for mi...sometimes i do...y it's so unstable?? u really wan mi to wait for u ? or juz simply telling mi to "dun waste ur time" ???? i juz dun hv any hints & answers from u...wat to do nw ??? i am blank-ed....all tis while i only hope-ed to see u & spend my time wif u... tt's my simple wish.... & the gift....its all along wif mi ....how i wish i can hand it to u personally...wishing happy real belated bdae....

ni bu zai..

2006-03-01T23:15:00.000+08:00

ni hai shi bu zai...wo de shi jie ...hao leng mo..ru guo ni bu zai...jiu hao xiang zhe yang de wo...mei you le kuai le...mei you le ai qing...zhi you ji mo...tan ni shi shui? wo zhi xiang yao yi ge ren hao hao de ai wo...jiu xin man yi zhu le..... - lex de shi jie

hais ~

2006-02-22T19:56:00.000+08:00

wo hao nan guo. tis few days...i juz cant stop feeling normal...everyting on my mind is flickering unstably. i wonder y i kept on listening to cai hong tian tang, perhaps..the lyrics is veri meaningful...it just fits wat situation to i am in nw... hais ~ wo xi wang...you ni zai wo sheng bian...

wei she mo?

2006-02-21T23:02:00.000+08:00

alot of tings happened..i guess i hv finally chosen the best way i tink is for u :) ...nw i only noe....i love u deeply....missing u alot....must take gd care of urself....learn to study well..dun get tired ok ? :) wo men de ai...hai shi zai de....

forever...

2006-02-16T20:59:00.000+08:00

i am condemned...the end..

hais!

2006-02-09T19:31:00.000+08:00

repeatedly of bad luck day i had....provoked by my gd frens. but it's ok. raining was heavy & i was standing beside the road. the car run past...the water hit on mi...it's ok too...nw i even hv headaches....flu & cough back again...but it's ok...coming up is valentine's day...i nv had a valentine day b4. i supposed to hv it last yr..but tings didnt went well...so i nv experienced the feeling of been wif ur love one for the whole day...like guys tt bought couple rings. flowers. box of sweet chocolates. it's just so sweet to me...but i dun hv such day on valentines. i felt lonely in tis world. i was hoping for the right ger to come past my life & for the remaining days...only happiness & normal lifestyle ...bickering wif each other. joking wif each other. saying our own probs kept in ourselves. confide everyting together. do tings hand in hand. but i noe i juz nid to wait & wait until such chances come....i nv really had a happy day ever since she left my life. nw she's wif another guy. i dunno y...after a year had past..i noe i hate her...but still loving her as deep. & wat's most impt is i dun wanna use any other ppl as a shield to forget her thoroughly. nw she's wif tt guy happily...spending valentine's day..i noe she had hurt mi deeply for once. but i oso noe she will nv wan to hurt mi again...so the both of us is impossible. i noe she's guilty for her deeds. but i cant do anyting for tis..i miss her ...looking at the neo-prints we once had. the only neo-print i had wif mi...the letters i had ...i really missing her...sometimes i was praying..if she will be back to my side...i am contented wif life..though i kept on scolding her...insulting her...but i noe tt my love for her ...is just there...but i'll nv tell her abt how much & long i hv waited...& will still wait until my love for her ..... dies ~ if tings will repeat...i rather u're a stranger.... to mi....in my life ....the sorrows & sadness i had ...hv nv disperse b4... i still long for u ....every sweet words u said...i can nv forget...though it's just a tale...but i choose to rmbr it... a no happiness guy..... the necklace i gave u...i just hope u'll keep it well & take a look at it sometimes....i still love the T-Shirt u gave mi ....nv really bear to wear it...though i got 2 exactly same ones....ever since we are ended....i turned from bad to worst...helpless case...hv to repeat my modules...i failed them..2 of it...repeating starts from friday...2-4pm...i'll go....i will turn over a new leaf....

i hv 2 hearts....a heart tt will keep u forever...& a heart will nv stop pumping for u...... until i die....it's still ur's...... i love u ...nw .... future......always......

zzz

2006-01-29T13:03:00.000+08:00

wat a cny. wake up in the morning..i oso lazy to greet them. becoz last nite, make mi dulan...sua ~ greet the wall oso dun wanna greet u both. nv spare a thought of mi..only noe ur own gains....wan kope $ say lor...no nid excuses alot...dulan~

wo de shi jie~

2006-01-24T20:43:00.000+08:00

I love you. I miss you. But i dont dare to catch you. The number of days since we known each other. & I found out I had fallen in love with you. With your simple care, I can be brighten up easily. When you are sick, I will worry silently. When I said I love you, I mean it sincerely. How I wish we can never Kiss Good Bye ~ (zai wo sheng bian de, shi ni, tan shi wo mo bu zhao ni. zai ai de guo du li wo men dou yong you dui fang. shui rang mei you zai yi qi, tan shi wo hen man zhu le.) 1st time i met, same feeling i get, only feels much stronger, wanna love you longer, you still turn the fire on, so if your feeling lonely darling, your the only one I ever want, I only wanna make it good..

I onli hope i can hv u, wif happiness till the day it all ends...shall be the day we close our eyes ~

hais ~

2006-01-18T21:26:00.000+08:00

here to update after a long time, sch started for the 3rd day...quite fresh still...day 1 of sch...suay suay tio caught by a PEI center course manager..he has a bulldog face wif a big fat sized body...tmd...catch my coloured & long hair ~ LOL the 2nd day i went to cut, but still as long leh..dunno y...but heck la...quite enjoy the sch classrooms...but aircon were too cold...for nw 9.28pm i am changing my blog's music...it's a nice song ..hehe ~ for some time alrdy, i fallen for u...but i noe i cant be wif u...not becoz u will or will not accept mi..it's becoz i dun wanna be the guy for ur life for nw! so i am letting u moving freely..hais ~ i fallen for the wrong ger i guess ba...but i hope u will noe ...maybe i will change my mind for the sake of my happiness & i will start to chase after u ~ it's just a "IF' .... :)

finally.

2006-01-06T19:52:00.000+08:00

my personal cs smoothy com is finally up. cool. but my mainboard was a sucky 1. haha. hu cares. no lag i am fine wif it...& i found out smth....wtf ? i am cheated by tt lim yifen for a yr....cool! she's a powerful person. steady wif tt guy(shawn) for a year...let mi tink...she ditch mi on my bdae april 5th. & a year wif tt guy means ? b4 she left mi she alrdy had him ? WOW! i feel like slapping her tight...love promising mi alot of tings.....& telling mi stupid stuff like "my dad's shifu(fortune teller) coming to my hse tml i scare" & "i must concentrate on studies in JC nw" wow! den tell mi wun go into r/s. & wat i found out ? she's just bullshitting man ! fuck it. damn i feel like slapping for the both them. shawn u're a bastard, while yifen is a bitch. soon i gonna take my revenge... i'll nv let it rest till i had my revenge....say mi bad oso can...but 8 mths or more...i had been like a rubbish to her! so nw i'll nv let it rest...shawn yea ? yifen yea ? tis 2 ...can fuck off from tis world. :) ... wat's the point of promising & telling mi tis in future "forget the past pls." den y in the fucking 1st place u promised mi all tis by urself ??? y ? fun in breaking it ? lol ? i am ur toy. but u chosen the wrong toy to play wif. u're under my "death" list... nv hope for my forgiveness. becoz u dun fit to. roarrr to mon & gr & d all....they cheered mi up. :)

haha fun.

2005-12-26T22:17:00.000+08:00

ytd, went to eat steamboat at marina...reach there abt 11pm+, found out zhen fa closing..DAMN!!!! den go the nxt store, CHONG PANG 2in1 BBQ. the board wrote us $12. but tt uncle..& i mean the fucking uncle told us each to PAY $15. after he walk awy for a moment, he turn back & say "hey short of $2" .. wtf ? we paid exactly man! how the fuck $2 shortage???? damn, all the food almost looks like left over...fuck up man, the shark fin (drop some french fries in) looks like no one touching those chilli crabs...we took salmon fish & white fish...tt was great...ate some mushroom those mini ones...some mee fen....some fried mee goreng..drank 2 cans of drink at $1.30 each..damn ...cheater store...I SWEAR no zhen fa...i oso wun go there! fucking noob services wif extra charges....ROAR.....bankrupt...went to a arcade, played GTI miii car game at 50 cents per game, so cool haha, enjoyed the game, den play the initial-D 3..omg the steering wheels was hard... OMG...i did a tyco drift using a Mitsubishi Evo8..haha!!!!!!! after tt went home wif d, gr & both their bros...took a cab to khatib mrt...zhun zhun $20. fuck omg...it was expensive...but i paid none :D.... damn......the day is spoilt by the store but compensated by those fun-ness we had...hahahaha ~ coooooooooL...nxt time gonna go seoul garden....

a new skin :DD

2005-12-24T13:38:00.000+08:00

cool skin i found out, nice tagboard as in bigger size clearer, easy view, music oso nice quality..well, tag my board man ppl! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............ :)

brain washed.

2005-12-23T03:06:00.000+08:00

if onli i can let it go, i cant stop hving the image of u, i cant stop telling myself not to tink abt u..but i am trying to stop my feelings...aint letting u noe anymore...but in my heart, i do love u...10 mins ago, accidentally cut my thumb wif a cupboard. ouch ~ plastered it le...the thumb so hot...& stuffy...cant slp for the nite...well...hv been listening to yes933 until 2.30am..heard sandy's dedication again ah! haha..k la i noe wat to do 1 la...relax mah dun so kan jiong..rather bz....later on hv to work...oh god ~ but nw felt hungry, so after i sign off, i gonna cook some maggie mee...hope i can stop tinking abt u & everyting of my past tt flashed thru my mind again ~ hope i will stop it.... :) ...

woootz

2005-12-15T03:34:00.000+08:00

after 11.30pm the results of Adverse.Gamin9 vs Infusion is out ~ (AG9)16-6(Infusion) !! hehehe...well there's a new member joined in my xiong di! simon aka DekaBreak as the web designer...welcome welcome ! ! who wanna hv the match demo can ask for mi it's in hltv mode so u can view freely.. hehe ! well, after knowing my ite results..abit upset..becoz i failed my core module & another sub... hais ~ nid to repeat 6 mths more..! ahhh i wanna quit if i cant take it ! well...abt 12am+ continue listening to yes933! tried to dedicate smses..3 times but nv read out mine -_-!!!! but sin yee go dedicate her sms for mi & got read out ..haha on the radio saying "Precious Idiot ni ting dao mah?" haha i onli rmbr tis sentence by DJ Peifen ! so touch sia ... hehe... ~ :) den pei girl girl sandy sms till abt 3.30am lor..den update blog ~ signing off soon ~ cya .. hehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

updating :)

2005-12-13T00:55:00.000+08:00

ya la update la...recently bzing wif work..quite exhausted...but at least it can stop mi from tinking of tings mah :) xmas is coming...happy xmas to all :) !!!!! & sin yee ur bdae present when i'm free i will go over there & gif u de :) ... tonite quite lonely...but no choice :) well...hurt my hips quite badly too ... ouch ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ok signing off ~ bye all :)

y??

2005-12-08T04:02:00.000+08:00

hais ~ i sms her, telling her to del the blog awy! & she really did it....so my guess is rite...she forgotten the past, the wrongs she had ! she forgotten mi! wat for all tis mths i go to her blog & read abt the past ??? will tings repeat again ? i really dun understand....y i will i ever noe such a person! a liar! i noe she is hving her love life happily nw ! i noe everyting! i really do! i juz dun understand y she wanna lie to mi every single time! always giving mi a innocent answer...a innocent look...voice...& i am stupid enough to believe her! juz sec by sec...u asked mi for a chance..i gave...without blaming nor hving grudges...but y ! u always dun mean wat u say ? i juz feel like giving u a slap! & tt's it! "My dad's shifu coming to my hse, i am scare, i wan to break 1st" really makes mi flare up! & folo by another "i decided to concentrate on my studies, it's not abt any other ting, sorry" lol ???????? she's a funny person rite? trying to bullshit ard, bluffing ard...she doesnt noe the consequences of hurting ppl's heart ! really selfish of her! till nw i wun stop tinking of her bad! she's juz a useless person wasting the world resources going ard playing wif ppl's feelings! i really hate her! but yet i cant forget her...i hate tis fucking ting! *no life*!

yea? no ? yea ? no ?

2005-12-06T01:51:00.000+08:00

when i say smth out, i always mean it, but tis time i dun wish to mean it. i dun wish to hv any idea ..nowadays i am hving love torturing. I hope i can say the truth out ~ u noe wat i am saying. but i juz cant. i onli can tink of u...but i wun ever tink of be the man tt can care for u.. yes...u changed alot for the better..i seen tt, i feel tt...bu zi bu jue zhong............how i hope human can hv smth set on their mind & nv changes it. but i noe tt will nv happen..becoz no one is perfect..i understand..

Y!!!!!!!!!?

2005-12-03T01:05:00.000+08:00

after viewing again the past, www.sotong-world.blogspot.com, yes tis blog doesnt getting much update le...but somehow i went in juz to read all the single post carefully...i can feel the happiness & the sadness once again ~ our such a long r/s to me...has got to end it in a unbearable manner. until tis moment den i realised i juz nv leave ur image & ur heart alone at all...i cant forget u, but so wat ? will u be back? i noe it wun becoz i understand u too much le...feng & fen is juz a history...my heart is bleeding nw, it's so hurting! i am hving tears in my eyes nw...to my gd bros out there i noe u guys hv been there for mi when i am deeply in sadness the moment she did tis to mi..perhaps she has alrdy replaced other guy in her heart long ago...but wat's really hidden inside mine is u.... dreadful ~

i am retiring from gaming!

2005-12-01T01:36:00.000+08:00

after a long long long yrs of gaming, i finally decided to hv a rest...i going to get out of my gaming world...i wanna do meaningful stuff in life nw...for my team adverse...it's always alive ~ i may not be physically there for u guys..but my heart & soul is there supporting u guys ! gd luck ! :) ...i felt i grow up even more ...i seen life thoroughly alrdy...my wishes nw is to be wif the ger tt i noe will last wif mi till my last sec...& i am waiting for her appearing in the future...DEADLeX : dead from gaming, alive in reality. For all my fellow gamers out there...gd luck & hv fun! glhf glhf..hehe~ but hu noes 1 day i will juz make a come-back & rejoin the team ! :) ... let's see den !!! there's alot of tings happened to mi for 17 yrs...in the past, the old mi will choose to say it out ...but nw, i rather keep mum abt it ...becoz there's nth more i can say oso...juz wanna forget after tinking...i wan to walk the way i am hving nw ! i love riding bike nw...if anyone of u is interested in tis too, juz gif mi a sms or call ~ =D haha!!!!

- I do think of you, i love u-

O.O

2005-11-29T13:30:00.000+08:00

nowadays, my mind r all occupied...i cant slp well for 2-3 day alrdy..in the middle of 4am i wake up ...went back to slp, 7am+ i wake again! dunno wat's stopping mi from slping too...i hv been tinking alot alot lately..i dun hv enough slp ~ i hope i can be explained by anybody y i am like tis ... wat shld i do ? i seldom play my fav game : cs le ....all i do is, work, eat, cycle, slp....is tis how i shld spend my holidays ? upon learning more tings tt hv happened to ppl i noe...i am so so so confused... hais ~ hope the worries will be gone, the confidence will come....i do tink of u ~ :)

i wonder...

2005-11-26T01:26:00.000+08:00

sometimes...i tink, y i am laughing everyday when mi myself is not happy at all ? when mi myself is hving such suffering alone? ..if onli nth has ever happen...hais ~ i hope u'll be fine..though i hv been avoiding u :) ... but once again..after visited ur blog...i found out u did smth silly...i dunno its for hu tis time...but i juz noe, its not worth it ..no point going like tis...hais ~ recently i hv alot of frens accompanying mi ...ya tt's enough alrdy...in life i juz didnt wan to expect much .. juz pass on till i die...& i hope, when i really die...everyone of u will come visiting mi .. will rmbr mi as ur fren...the happy memories we ever had ~ tt's the greatest true smile i will gif u guys even if i am lying in the coffin hahaha!!!!! thx god.... tt i can noe all of u.. :)

hais ~~

2005-11-20T15:57:00.000+08:00

though Team TitaNs is out of the WCG matches, but there's my favourite Team3D ! YES! though sg didnt win, but at least Team3D my idol won it for us! :) well, i am getting more prepared into competitive counterstrike once again! my latest team line-up : DEADLeX, xqn, w1nter, GeekyNerd, Jx!... & yes hope we can get a top 10 in those competition coming up ... :) will be serious in tis team & training damn hard for it ! hahaha!!!!!!!!!!! nth is impossible...... ^^ ..

woooohooo

2005-11-18T20:06:00.000+08:00

WCG 2005 Finals. Counterstrike section. our sg team TitaNs currently won 2 matches... :) i am veri happy & surprise to hear tt...after their bootcamping ...they really improved alot! i believe the world shld watch out for them in the future! :) strike it out man TitaNs! hahaha!!!!!!! Gd luck for the rest of ur matches...won u get a top 3 :)

:D

2005-11-17T18:54:00.000+08:00

recently hv been training my cs in matches....yea though my exam is coming real near! but hu gif a shit to it ! WAHHAHA!!!! i gonna concentrate in my team nw....perhaps will go to the extent of playing even more serious gaming!!!!! :D ...yes i am DEADLeX....as DEAD as ever.....lifeless boi! but onli cs can make mi feel tt i exist nw! but if the ger i love understands mi....willing to be wif mi ...how gd can tt be ? omg it's heavenly gd! haha! i hope to aim for a top 8 in WCG nxt year!!!!! go adverse go! :) btw pls support #advers[3] at galaxynet. :) thx guys!!!!!!! logging off to work ... gd bye!!!!

yes .. :)

2005-11-10T17:34:00.000+08:00

after all tis time, i finally back to tis little world .. nth really much happen b4...knew alot of new frens...recently there's tis jay album going high in every part of sg..cool...i love tt song 'feng' by jay.. yea~ nice nice...i am back on my own...exams coming soon...22nd of nov...reaching real fast.. & tt's it..holidays! :D ... on the 9th of nov...i am back on competitive counterstrike...joined tis newly formed team name "adverse" .. but my nick is still the same "DEADLeX" :) ...well...wish all ite students gd luck in ur exams coming up...tt's all ... (above is today's cs performance i made...hahaha..a little bit of siaoness in mi..20-5 is my score a tyco 1) ... :)

:) :) :)

2005-10-07T21:01:00.000+08:00

so long since i update blog le wor....recently..had 2 dreams tt seems so real to mi...i can feel the importantness of it... finally, my laopo is out of the sec sch world le...it seems smth gd..but i noe she'll miss her frens in there de..tears can drop when i tink how impt she is to mi...i am afraid alot of tings..but i noe...will power is the ting i & u needed ~ we nid to believe in miracles..alot of tings...fight the hard battle tt is coming on...i juz cant stop myself from loving u ...so so so impt...if u ever leave my side..i juz cant or dun dare to imagine wat can happen de...2 mths is not long nor short, but we had come tis far, let's treasure it dear...dun ever let opportunity leak from our hands.. love u love u yes i love u.... we both each hv a key to our hearts ...nv gif tis key to any 1 else ... i will always be wif u...i will hong ni kai xin ...gif u the love u nid the most...standby ur side when u nid mi...shout for mi..& i will reach there for u...my hands will nv stop reaching u...we can always hold each other tight..... i love the way u address mi ...so nice.. so sweet... so warm...dear, i hv no regrets in life le.... i juz wan to be wif u no matter how hard it may be...i do mean my words...my words......w....o.....r....d....s.....

words from my heart...

2005-09-22T19:59:00.000+08:00

i may be feeling unwell today....hving coughings, headaches...but i will nv leave my mind of ur image for 1 little sec...i tink of u day & nite..tinking of how to make u happy even more...sometimes i might be stupid, after making u unhappy..i really dunno wat to do...juz keep on praying...tt it will be fine...i wan to gif u the best...it doesnt matter much...i juz nid ur love ur care....it will replace everyting tt i can ever hv le..yiling or eileen......it's still the same to mi.. it doesnt hu u r...only u can gif mi tis kind of feelings tt i am been concerned every nw & den .. i really love u alot alot alot..& i am sure my love for u is deeper den everybody's... time will prove everyting ..time will gif me solutions...hoping u to smile wif mi...laugh wif mi...letting mi noe every of ur probs..it doesnt matter whether i will be sad wif u..becoz i noe..loving somebody, which means to mi, i wan to share ur burden..i wan to cry wif u..share ur sadness...ur unhappiness.. we are a different couple from others..rmbr ? everytime i tink of tis sentence..i smiled...everyting will hv a solution to it de...i rmbr wat u say to mi ... keeping unhappy tings to urself, really hurts mi becoz when i sense u're sad or unhappy..i cant do much beside telling u trying not to .. i wan to make u stand up..everytime u fall down...i wan u let u smile..everytime u r crying..i wan to hug u tight whenever u nid it ... my life is not impt le..but ur's are! every of ur caring words to mi, mean to mi alot...it is veri impt to mi...i wun miss a word u said b4..i wan to walk wif u ... until the end of mi...the end of lee ting feng... every unhappiness will restore into happiness...i wan to hv u 4ever... writing all tis...is wat my heart is feeling rite nw... u might tink tt i am nagging u always..but actually all i can tink of is trying to help u..giving u the best i can...i nv wan to harm u...i wan to love u...care for u...my onli intention in mind nw... walking to armageddon ... but i wun be afraid ... it's becoz i noe u wun abandon mi alone to my death ..................... i love u .... always ~

:( :(

2005-09-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

it's not i dun wanna chat wif my laopo on phone de...it's becoz i am afraid tt he might stop mi...i hope she will understand mi ...but if she tinks i am giving excuses, it's ok ... it's my fault ~ laopo...we started on 13.o8.o5, rmbr ? u said u were happy the 1st day we r together..i wun forget the happiness tt u had on the 1st day ...i hving fever rite nw, eyes sore..coughing...but i still can tink of her clearly...she's always on my mind..i try to find some help on her coming exams all along today...when the day she told mi she wan to start her revision le.. hais ~ she muz be upset of mi now...but it's ok..as long as i noe i love her deeply...trying to gif her the best i can, it will do le...1 day u will realise i am trying & trying..none stop for u...my dear... i love u 4ever ... nv ever will leave u ... abandon u...i will always gif u love & care...understand u ... i will do it all de...u might be looking at tis blog rite nw..u're those person wif a hard attitude..u might be fierce..u might treat mi fiercely..but i noe in ur heart..u do care for mi de...i can feel it..it's ok.. as long as i got ur love..i am contented wif my life...i had enough for my life le...no regrets will be placed in my mind at all...i swear i given my heart to u yiling ~

a morning entry.

2005-09-19T05:54:00.000+08:00

nv had a slp a sec at all..dun feel really well now..my mind is all abt ur images...i cant imagine if u leave me again ~ tears dropped..but it will stop somehow..we both nid miracles to happen de..the promises we made for each other, the love we put in each other's heart, the mind we linked as one...i love u forever...leen ~

well...

2005-09-18T23:39:00.000+08:00

i had a handphone, i got a msn acct...my hp got alot of contact nos. my msn had alot of frens too...but hv u ever noe tt, the 1 i only call, chat, miss, love...is u...is u ....i hv a brain which has a tinking mind, but the only person tt kept my mind occupied is u..do u noe ? my heart has only 1 space, the person tt filled up the slot is u ..u noe tt too ? i may not live till the age i wan..but my heart my love towards u can ! i simply love u too much..u're 4ever my ger ~ nv leave my hp silent, my msn quiet, my mind empty & my heart broken....becoz u mean far too much to me le...i love u 1314 .. feng & leen ~ 13.o8.o5...appleboi luv appleger..

hais ~

2005-09-18T21:51:00.000+08:00

in my life, it's really a fortune to hv u..i admit it~ i admit tt u love & care for me alot alrdy..it takes time to change habits de...but i will wait...no matter how short my life is... i wun regret loving u...i wun leave u..& i dun wan u to leave mi too..becoz in life u're the onli person i can confide to.. the only person tt makes my love worthwhile..at tis time, i am afraid u're still moody, i tried to send a msg, but i juz dun wan to spike u for now! it's becoz i care, i tink for u..peaceful is all we both wanted..nth can ever break us apart..like u say..the storm may come...thunder may strike..but our heart wun be strike apart at all de..no matter wat we'll hold on strong to each other..since 13.o8.o5, till now...my love for u will nv change ...it's for life! it's all i juz wan to be...to be wif u ... my ger...always ~ i am sorry for all my stupidity..all my harshness..i bear all the fault..it's becoz it is my fault...completely... hope u will forgive me ... hope u wun care wat others say ... as long as i am in ur mind & heart...i willing to do anyting...anyting u wish to...i'll learn to take care of myself better, gif u care more, show u tt i love u more clearer...no matter wat i juz noe my love for u is carved there alrdy...nv leave mi..... nv...or i dun dare to imagine wat will happen to my life on tis earth ~ *tears dropped heart broked, but i noe u'll heal it*

sad..

2005-09-15T00:42:00.000+08:00

hais ~ i am juz sad ...certain reasons..but my love is not affected at all! it will always be a wonderful ting..it just depends on how u wanna see it..hais ~ really sad..i cried...accidentally hit my head against smth..now veri pain & headache..i nid ur trust.."13.o8.o5 start & wun hv a ending" it will always be true...nv will i fail to do so..i love u i noe i do! my dead or alive doesnt matter to me it's becoz u're wif me ! wat happened to me ? alot alot of bad tings today ! y will i be fussed up over smth ? moodyness pls leave me from tis moment onwards..headache pls leave me..happiness come back to me right now! i hope tml will be a brand new day ~ dear & i will be chatting happily..study well, take gd care of ur health, guai abit more.. ~ i believe u will do it for my sake..dear i love u ... 4eva ~ & eva ~ feng & leen 13.o8.o5 to eternally....

:)

2005-09-12T21:57:00.000+08:00

if u nv exist in my life, i wun hv today ~ i wun feel tt i am the happiest guy i can be ... for u, i am willing to go on! for u, i will change for the better... ~ dear ah dear, i really glad...quite peaceful & quiet been wif u..tis is the kind of feeling i wanna hv~ no other ppl can ever gif me tis kind of feel de.. u're the best to me~ i noe, u r trying to change for me..i felt it.. i noe it.. dear, thx u... :) w/o u in life, is meaningless.... each laughter i hear from u..i noe miracle had alrdy taken it's place... only feng & leen will hv miracle together .. i love u 4eva..& eva... u're mine forever le... :) let me take care of u for life.... feng ~

:(

2005-09-10T21:21:00.000+08:00

a 2nd time i say..other den u, none really matters to me...! u noe it clearly i love u deeply from my heart...i nid ur trust...i nid u to believe tt i dun lie anymore...tt i wun hurt u ... tears is rolling down.... each tears i rolled..my heart felt the pain too ~ i am lee ting feng! ur bf! ur laogong! always ~ whether i am still in tis world anot...! i belongs to u only... i love only U! *out now, walk, hp off, i wun disturb u if u tink i will hurt u!* wo lee ting feng, admit wat i got did & wun admit those i nv did ! once i given u my love, it's 24 hrs 365 days none stop forever like tis!!!!!!!!!!! feng <3 leen no matter wat... the DEAD boy....

well well...

2005-09-09T12:54:00.000+08:00

today, my darling is going to msia..for shopping purposes..wif her family & relatives.but she will be back home by tonite ba ~ well, ytd, smth tt i dun wish happened..but we both manage to salvage it...i noe i nid her in my life..she noe she nid me too ~ i noe her promises will be made ! she will nv do silly things...hurt herself...nv leave me..all tis..i noe she'll :) feng & leen will always be together..to me, i found her like a needle in the sea, veri veri difficult...but i am lucky to found her..to love me care for me..till my last breathe i promise..i am ur's ~ 13.o8.o5

i believe ~

2005-09-04T00:08:00.000+08:00

i believe...in my heart..there's only u...now & ever...till i leave...till u leave...we are still together happily...each day..is a blessing to me..each sec been wif u is sweet..u do wat u said.. :) i believe in u .. i trust u deep enough..i love u as deep as i cant describe how deep my love can be ~ onli the god in the heaven will noe how deep my love is for u ~ but somehow there's a ans..which contains in ur heart... i believe...u will smile everyday..u will cry it out on my shoulder whenever u're down ~ i will always be there when u nid me...appear rite in ur 1st look when u open up ur eyes..looking at my sms...smiling at it...having a gd start in the early morning...if in tis world..i dunno u..until now, i am lost..wun be happy at all..but now i got u..my life is full of love & hope ~ from u .. from the sec u gave me ur heart, i hv been carefully handling it..it may be difficult protecting it sometimes..but however..i did it :) & i will always keep ur heart safely wif me..nv broke it.. a little smile from u can light up my day when i am sad... i am fortunate to hv such a gd darling like u .. i will do wat i say..i will make u as happy as u can ! i will gif u the best i can.. miracle will happen de ! it will ~ i believe ~ tis day.... we will grow old & living happily ~ no matter it is grass ring or diamond ring, i believe u'll like it ... :) feng & leen de gu shi ~ 13/o8/o5~

hehehehehe ~

2005-09-01T00:06:00.000+08:00

well...had a veri early woke up today at 8.45am.. :) hehe! had a great day wif her...gd news is tt she got a 23rd in her class in prelim when her past mid year exam got a 27th... it's overall a gd news :) gd luck in ur N lvl laopo ~ i believe in u... really treasure her alot alot alot .... :) feng & leen de story at 13.o8.o5...Nth can ever break our love for each other ~ i will always be wif u until my last breathe on earth..i promise ~ :)

hais ~

2005-08-30T21:06:00.000+08:00

b4 i gone out...... hais ~ nvm...nth to say..but i noe i love u deep ~ 4eva...... hp off....irc quit .. msn logged out...i am a stupid bastard...hv to face the wall to tink wat must i do ...tink b4 i care 1st... hais ~ let me spit out blood plz...thank god...

hehehe

2005-08-29T23:12:00.000+08:00

well today is a simple day..after sch went home....chat wif laopo awhile...felt veri tired...den went to eat med le den slp..slp halfway...went toilet vomit....>.< though is painful after the vomit..but it's alrite..becoz she care for me :) muacks laopo~ well..i hope u will like tis new skin i made today ~ i love u forever...13.o8.o5~ u're always a part of me...playing a impt role in my life :) feng & leen de gu shi ~

>.<

2005-08-27T12:20:00.000+08:00

blog prob sia...prob bigbig .. LoL i only can short post ~ zhen shi de...but nvm .. it's alrite..dear muacks morning afternoon ~ i love u hehe~

:)

2005-08-26T02:06:00.000+08:00

she understands me :) she believe me :) she noe i love her deep ! she noe it all~ dear..no matter u're sad or happy..i will still be there right for u when u nid me :):):) ~ this is not a promise but wat i shld do ... becoz in my heart u r a veri veri impt person...every word i said is true i SWEAR ~ every smile u gave..every laughter i hear..lights up my day... :) i love u too deep...i believe there will be miracle...4eva u & me..our story ... 13.o8.o5 ... feng & leen~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

smiles ~

2005-08-25T17:00:00.000+08:00

lolz...i was bzing in the early afternoon ~ when she suddenly sms me & call me..yuan lai shi ... she keep on calling me in irc...den sms me..no reply tt's y call me..so gd of her :) muacks laopo...chatted wif her..keep on laugh & laugh ~ zhen shi de..stomachache still laugh ! laugh more pain more ah! wo men shi kuai le xiao fu qi LOL!!!!!!!!! hug hug ..... everyday wanna feel u more, loving u deeper & deeper...wo zhen de hui ai ni yi bei zi ~ bu li kai ni de sheng bian de ~ :) wo shuo de dao, yi ding zhuo de dao de ~ hehes.... f3nG n leEn de story .. 13.o8.o5 !

sad & happy ~

2005-08-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

today ... morning abt 10am ++ my laopo called my hp to wake me up :D so gd of her...when i am back home it's abt 3pm+. but she's slping, so i wait while finding the midis for her blog, though i search none nice de...den abt evening or so...she is moody..i didnt mean to be cold...becoz i am feeling not well ~ she misunderstand le so she angry of me..shouted at me...but i nv blame her at all..sorry dear for letting u misunderstand me ~ i hv to say sorry to her sis for been scolded too ! hais ~ but now..everytings is fine after a walk nearby for an hour or so...den went to ah ma hse at 11pm+ ... now at her hse updating my blog...gd nite to my baobei worr..slp well ~ love u alot alot alot alot alot..haha! hugggg muacksss! God ahhh thx u for giving me such a gd laopo ~ thx ...........all tis colour words is for u :) ... so gd of u updating ur 1st blog post today :) tai hao le .... :) hao xing fu de wo men ... kuai kuai le le de...guess must be slping sweetly now le.. :) ... take gd care ~

haha so happy..

2005-08-19T23:35:00.000+08:00

weeee i done smth for my laopo...which is create a new blog for her :) i hope she likes it.. :):):) done smth tt i wun regret & happy..

finally...

2005-08-16T20:09:00.000+08:00

finally i hv been able to go thru....i will live till my end ~ wif her eileen chua eeling ~ my darling...i love her veri deeply ~ she love me veri deeply too ~ :) she treats me well...fulfill her promises she made...therefore i wun worry abt anyting now le...nth is as impt as her...to me she's even more impt den me... :) i hv put all my trust in her now :) i noe she will do the promises she made ! i noe she will ~ my life is as happy as the bird tt flew up high in the big blue sky :D ~

But most of all i wun forget my bros... :D wahahhahaha!

confused ~ ?_?

2005-08-04T15:53:00.000+08:00

every sec is taking awy my life, every sec tt i had seems to be veri meaningful now...all my frens i had now, is the greatest gift on earth, but by heaven ~ hate to leave tis blog alone for sometime...but i hv to now..becoz i gonna tell myself tt my decision is no....as it is too sudden for me..i dun tink i will wanna appear on tis blog for the time being ~ but pls tag more guys :) ... miracle will happens & i believe.... it will ... ~

^^

2005-08-02T21:56:00.000+08:00

got my hair dyed...not the ideal colour i wan..turn out to be ash brown ~ >.<~ wasted my $....on my way to sch was bored...for 2 days i hv been going alone after dropping gr at bishan mrt.. hai ~ tml oso 8.30am starts sch..but so boring !!!!!!!!!! eeeeeeeee......really dunno wat to do... hai ~ .. still moody

o.O?

2005-07-31T22:54:00.000+08:00

quarrelled......hai ~ still as usual after work...been really exhausted..went home..use com...went out wif gr & d for dinner...chatted alot ... joked alot..ate mcdonalds.. it was cool! hahahaha ! gr went to buy his 1st hair spray of the year.. LoLZ! hmm, quite bored now... nth to write..hope miracle do happens on me ~ sian sian ~

tiring day ~

2005-07-30T00:14:00.000+08:00

reached home at abt 12am. it's a long & tiring day after all my work... !!!! guess tml i'll hv muscleache...cut my foot today lolz!!! but not too bad ba ~ while working, i will rmbr how she acc me...thru smsing ... to tink of it, i felt i am fortunate...now i realise it cant be 4eva.. haisS~ tings changed...but it's ok i will move forward to the future de...thx everybody for been such a gd fren towards me!

was it or not?!

2005-07-29T12:40:00.000+08:00

today on my way back home...i dunno if i see the wrong person..i tink i saw her ~ alone waiting for a bus...i stand there starring for a moment...but i am not sure! i hope is her...i juz wanna see her once more...rmbring the old memories while walking, i could not stop feeling upset...while listening to my mp3..i kept on tinking if i shld sms her.. :'( ~ going work after writing tis post le ba ~ take care guys... :(

confuse...

2005-07-28T22:03:00.000+08:00

until now, i still cant really forget ... i noe it's smth negative for me, but it's my mind & heart tt keep on tinking abt it..i am sad, really felt like hving a gd cry ~ confiding to somebody ~ my life's not wat i wan ~ i noe i am born tis way ~ i am born here to face all the probs, juz alone me how to face it ? when i hope tt i can see ur smile again ~ i cried, when i hope i can hear ur voice again, i am upset..i nid love & concern too ~ until now u nv be able to gif me a proper reason for leaving me..it's all unacceptable !!! it's so unfair to me..i wan to forget u! i really wan ! but how? fall for other gers ? i am afraid to experience all tis.. i dun hv much time to waste le ~ soon time will flies, the world will be different..becoz i wun be existing anymore le..my tears hv been dropping every sec the day u left... really sad ~

hai ~

2005-07-27T23:43:00.000+08:00

as usual, thought of mimi haha ~ looking at my doggie bonbon, his expressions remind me of the sad memories hidden inside me, i am confuse all over now..i got alot of unhappiness, but i nv really wanna say all out ... becoz it's pointless, i'm afraid to fall for another ger ~ 3mths + since she left me, but i still can rmbr the pains & sorrow i had..i will forget her thoroughly, undergoing for a real big decision tt may change my life..i felt so lonely nowadays ~ my hp is quiet, my home tel is quiet, my mind is quiet too ~ dun really wish to attend sch anymore..but i told myself i have to go on ! becoz i can do it..juz 1 more year +! i tried everyting out of my best~ but i juz could not suceed in doing them. i am missing her, alot alot..if there's a ger tt can change my life ~ i will promise myself tt i will treasure her well..i will do best in everyting i can ... life's really stressed me up. if there's no such ting as love, probs.... how great it can be to me .. soon my time gonna be up! i gotta tink carefully.... real careful... wif a tear everynite b4 my slp ....

Shocked ~

2005-07-27T16:37:00.000+08:00

Last sat nite, staying late out wif gr, after leaving d's hse...chat quite a no. of hrs..saying our own stories & probs...feeling kinda cool chatting wif xiong di at such a time for so long...time passes like abt 5am+, strange tings beginning to happen..i saw white figure flying ard all over the place of gr's blk downstrs...gr said he see nth, feel nth..but after a moment later he could feel smth was strange too...i decided to walk home ~ he acc me too..becoz he's worried for me..i am shivering seriously ...it's kinda cold...i saw tis lao ah pek sitting on a strcase after some walk wif gr..he looks strange, so i ask gr whether he got see tis strange ah pek anot.. the 1st reply he gave me was "NO"..... i am shocked...i asked again & again to confirm! until gr decided to use my hp to take picture for me to see! omg..i couldn't believe wat i saw...it was smth tt i wun wan to see! omg ~ damn it...carry on walking, another strcase at the blk bside, i saw tt ah pek again~ damn it i am really getting colder & shivering...leg weakened.. gr told me not to see those strcase..i tried..until 1-2 mins later there's a bicycle riding towards us..omg wat i saw ?! it was the same ah pek tt i saw on the strcase..he juz ride past me!!!!!! ahhh..tis time gr saw it too.. he find his face kinda strange...omg..we keep on walking dun wish to see much ~ until i almost reach my blk i saw 2 flights of strcase in a eye...there's 2 of the same ah pek! oh gosh~..5.30am++ gr took lift wif me to my hse.. the lift door opened at 6th lvl..of my blk..tt ah pek was sitting down at the strcase tis time..i nid to use the strs!! oh shit..i nearly faint..really weakened..but gr tell me juz walk & dun look..ok i walk fast .. but tt ah pek was looking at me omg! i reached my doorstep..quickly open up the door & lock it wif all the locks!!!! i called gr after tt, he told me tt the lift door was acting strange..he close it but it opened up ... he feel kinda cold suddenly~ he knew there's smth beside in the lift wif him. it was foloing him all along ~ until he reach his blk lift.. thx god ! nth happened...

AN JING lyrics ~ meaningful..

2005-06-03T22:25:00.000+08:00

AN JING

Zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian Shui jiao de da ti qin An Jing de jiu jiu de Wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai Wo dong wo ye zhi dao Ni mei you she bu de Ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin Qian zhe ni pei zhe wo ye zhi shi cheng jin Xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni Wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai Ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan Wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai Wei she me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo Wo mei you zhe zhong tian fenbao rong ni ye jie shou ta Bu yao dan xin de tai duo Wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo Ni yi jin yuan yuan li kai Wo ye hui man man zou kai Wei she me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhe ni Wo zhen de mei you tian fen An jing de mei zhe me kuaiWo hui xue zhe fang qi niShi ying wei wo tai ai ni

a veri meaningful lyrics...well.. though abit old ^^..

y?

2005-05-16T02:50:00.000+08:00

9pm...ytd...she msged me..upon looking at the name of tis msg .. my peacefulness became sadness! i alrdy said b4, dun disturb me anymore..u hurt me too deep! get awy from me! u will nv be able to clear urself out of my mind! u r full of sin! sinful person.. lie & lie & lie is all i get from u! 8 mths..i nv once seen u did the tings u promised. all i can felt is i am walking wif u till ur JC & den..i am chased out of the pace wif u.. perhaps u tink tt when u r hving holiday, u dun mind been wif me..after ur sch start there might be better guys out there & while u can study better..freedom is back to u! i dun wish to tink abt the past. it's juz too hurtful! when the min i noe u wanna leave me, my heart sanked ! u gave me craps reason! i will nv ever forgive u! u change ur pw...everyting..it just hurt me too! blk all my frens..better dun appear in me & my xiong dis life again! lim yi fen the liar..! i hope 1 day smth will strike u & u will noe u r in the fault in doing all tis! u dun seems to regret which i felt abnormal person will react tis way! disappointed.... .... ..... lim yi fen... the ger tt broken my heart & taken awy my soul..

unhappy life

2005-05-13T16:08:00.000+08:00

i am short of smth..which everybody hv...i am short of happiness....short of life...short of the human being feelings tt they hv..i am missing u every nite..though i noe u did me great damage..but i noe i cant change the facts..i hope i can hate u ! but i juz cant! still dun understand ur choice & tinking..u said u love me ... & u said u wanna leave me..really cant accept it.. nv will i be a happy person ! juz a sad or fierce person.. juz hope i wun get to see u again! if u felt stress in jc den go to poly..i noe u must hv thought abt tis.. in the 1st place, u shld hv tink tis way..

lonely...forever...i noe i still love u as much! becoz i am feng... ur feng... ~ crying almost every nite deep inside my heart... ~